Gigantic Permanents: A Review of "The Opposite of Loneliness"

About a month ago while I was perusing the internet during my lunch break, I came across this New York Magazine post by Kevin Roose, who revealed a touching story of a Yale college student he knew named Marina Keegan. Roose wrote about Marina's great writing potential, which was tragically brought to a halt when she was killed in a car accident five days following her college graduation. Marina's essays and short stories were compiled by her friends, family and former teachers into a post-humorous book called "The Opposite of Loneliness," titled after an essay Marina wrote for her graduating class. An essay in which she fatefully wrote: "We're so young. We're twenty-two years old. We have so much time."

I was really afraid this book wouldn't live up to the hype following the accolades from Ms. Keegan's former mentors, but I can definitely say "The Opposite of Loneliness" was stunningly honest, captivating and terribly relatable, especially for me, a fellow twenty-something and recent-ish college graduate. I adored her fiction essays involving romantic relationships ("Cold Pastoral") and the changing dynamic between young adults and their parents ("Winter Break"). And her haunting observations about pursuing passions ("Even Artichokes Have Doubts") and her own death ("Song For the Special") gave me chills.

Most tragically of all, this book made me believe Marina and I could have been friends in real life. I could envision her future through this book, and I would not have been surprised if this talented young woman was capable of quickly reaching Lena Dunham fame in her post-graduate life. Marina's writing captured a piece of my own soul, and it's tragic her life was claimed before she could capture souls again and again, as her voice morphed with age.

"I used to think printing things made them permanent, but that seems so silly now. Everything will be destroyed no matter how hard we work to create it. That idea terrifies me. I want tiny permanents. I want gigantic permanents!"

– Marina Keegan, "Song For the Special"

image via

This Week I'm Reading...

Who's More Productive, Introverts or Extroverts?
As a self-proclaimed introvert, I always find it interesting to read about how the great introversion/extroversion divide plays out in the work force. I love that this article starts off with saying that there is no such thing as someone who's 100% introverted or 100% extroverted ("Such a person would be in a lunatic asylum," says psychologist Carl Jung). The article goes on to reference a previous post by Belle Beth Cooper, who notes oftentimes introversion is associated with shyness or a lack of "outgoingness," but rather introverts are individuals who find their energy from spending time alone and who lose energy from being around people for long periods of time. Preach, sister!

Check out the article for the answer to the productivity question, btw. Hint: It's all about mastering the art of the recharge.

The 100 Best Websites for Women 2013
I get really excited every year when TIME announces their top websites of the year, so Christmas came a little early when I found this Forbes list of the 100 best websites for women. I can tell you right off the bat that Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In website, Daily Worth and The Everygirl are essentials, but I can't wait to check out Quarterlette, Her Agenda, and Emily Bennington's Lead Big blog.

Also, a special call-out for the Girls Who Code website, which made the list. Their founder spoke at TEDxKC last week and I'm planning to post a link to her talk as soon as the video is available.

13 Kansas City Happy Hours That Could Change Tonight's Plans
I find myself getting into a rut with Kansas City happy hours -- Sol Cantina, Gran Falloon, Tom Fooleries, repeat. This post from the Finding Kansas City blog lists some really great spots around town, including some of my favorites (i.e., PierPonts and Harry's Country Club). But now I've definitely added Extra Virgin and The Jacobson to my list.

Tell Your Family Story on Pinterest
I've been trying to get my mom to join Pinterest, but she'd held out because new technology intimidates her. I think this article blog post from Pinterest could potentially convince her otherwise. I love this idea of using a shared Pinterest board to keep track of family recipes, old photos, vacation locations and much, much more. Pinterest is so visual, user-friendly and "scrapbook-like" in the first place, so much so that any grandma, great aunt or technologically challenged mother could figure it out.

What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

So, yesterday I wrote about how one of the talks during the TEDxKC event in 2012 asked the question: "What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"


I've thought about that question a lot, and I can't decide on an answer.

First of all, we need to set some ground rules here. Are we talking about having the ability to access talents that we didn't have before? Because if I knew I could not fail, I'd probably sign up for American Idol or start playing the piano.

But if I were limited to utilizing the skills I already have, my options get a whole lot scarier. Basically, I realized this question forces me to face my biggest fears and determine what's holding me back. Maybe I would pursue a career in another country. Maybe I would blog without inhibition and fear of criticism or judgement. Or maybe I would pursue love with reckless abandon, knowing my heart could not be broken.

This question came to mind again today when I stumbled upon this beautiful Tumblr titled "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" I glimpsed some amazing stories and identified further in my quest to determine what I would do if I truly knew I could not fail.

(Photos from If You Weren't Afraid Tumblr blog, brought to you by the Lean In team)

Defy Impossible

Last night I had the privilege to attend TEDxKC, an independently organized TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) event in Kansas City. I've followed TED talks via the national site for some time and have been amazed with how much useful advice I've been able to incorporate into my day-to-day life from researchers and entrepreneurs alike. So I was very excited to see what sort of line-up Kansas City would be able to churn out during their fifth annual TEDxKC.

I was not disappointed.

The theme of this year's program was "Defy Impossible," which was inspired by a TEDxKC talk from 2012 that challenged the audience to consider what they could do if they could not fail, if they could defy the impossible. Here's just a snapshot of the brilliant ideas that were brought to the TEDxKC stage.

The power of constraints
Multimedia artist Phil Hansen explained how to embrace limitations and use them to expand my creativity.

Brain chemistry lifehacks
Clinical researcher and neuroscientist Steve Ilardi presented ways that small lifestyle changes-- such as daily exercise, access to sunlight and face-to-face exposure to loved ones and friends -- can decrease the likelihood of depression compared to antidepressants.

We were promised flying cars
Inventor and mustache aficionado Jared Ficklin detailed a fascinating and innovative public transportation infrastructure that has the potential to alter and improve the way modern-day cities operate.
@jaredrawk

There is no way this will work
And finally, social entrepreneur & runner Anne Mahlum taught everyone that when faced with a decision, sometimes realizing that the worst case scenario isn't the end of the world can ultimately liberate you to pursue an otherwise crazy dream.
@annemahlum

I'm looking forward to posting the videos of these presentations once they're available.

Also, an added plus of the TEDxKC event were two unique and amazing musical performances from Chris Pureka (former microbiologist and full-time singer/songwriter) and Peter Mulvey (singer/songwriter and self-proclaimed provocateur). I'm not even kidding. Go check these two out on Spotify now.

Run, Run, Run

I've never considered myself to be much of a runner. In grade school, the extent of my running was around a gym before volleyball practice or running the bases during softball. But now that I'm a year into full-time employment, I realize that my sedimentary career requires me to take active control of my physical fitness. So I'm trying to develop a habit of running every morning before work. I'm six weeks into a couch to 5K program, but unfortunately I've been stuck on week three for three weeks (this eight week program is looking more like a three month gig). But now that I don't have the distractions of vacation and work travel, I can focus this week on leaping this plateau and prepare myself for a 5K fundraiser in the fall. Here we go!

Four Dinners in Chicago

I'm among the millions of human beings everywhere who is a big enthusiast for one thing: delicious food! So you can imagine how thrilled I was to experience the delectable tastes of Chicago during the, well, Taste of Chicago. Take that and the beautiful views of the Chicago skyline, and you have yourself a great weekend get away.

All-Star Game 2012

This is a big week for Kansas City, as Tuesday is the MLB All-Star Game at Kauffman Stadium. This is a huge event for Kansas City, both from a national recognition standpoint and for local tourism. The city has prepared for this event all year: finishing up street construction, repainting light poles on the Plaza, and displaying ASG signage at KC hot-spots.

Fans like myself who are unable to attend the game can still enjoy the All-Star experience at FanFest, a 450,000 square foot baseball theme park crammed full of MLB merchandise, displays of historic baseball paraphernalia and tastes (and smells) from the ballpark.

When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball." 

- Willie Stargell, 1981

Large decorative ASG baseball displaying team logos, located on the Plaza.

Giant All-Star Game sign hanging from the Intercontinental Hotel on the Plaza.

All-Star banner at the FanFest convention center.

Fireworks during Fourth of July celebrations at Riverfest.